Wherever you go, there you are.
On the road again, is a mantra I gotten used to saying every few months for the past three year. My travels have taken me to the jungles of Guatemala, volcanic islands of Nicaragua, to seaside cities in California, my native land of 10000 lakes, and now I find myself immersed in the graceful architecture, expansive museums and streets cafes of France. Each place has brought its lessons, the energies held by history, people, land and spirit.
Traveling always brings up the best and the worst in us. It promises mystery and excitement for the potential opportunities, as well as anxiety, fears, worries and loneliness. In one moment I feel on top of the world, but In an instant can be consumed by the feeling of being an outsider unable to communicate.
I am so grateful for the opportunity to travel and spend time visiting new cultures, old and new friends while sharing experiences and ideas. This is the first trip that I have taken with out a specific goal in mind other then to stay open to any opportunity that may present itself to me. Instead of predetermining my mentors in specific area of interest I am seeking to learn from life itself, to find the teacher that exists with-in and to understand how I can show up and serve others in this world using my gifts, and the knowledge I have gained from past and present experiences. Everyone is a teacher including ourselves.
One of the themes that seems to be popping up in my head during these first few weeks in France is the concept of other. This is something that we create in our mind in order to feel apart of, to identify, to find tribe, but it is a false dicotamy. This year has been a boot camp of introspection into the psyche, my childhood conditioning, ancestral inheritance both psychologically and physically, and understanding the sameness of humans. This is not some spiritual wu wu when I say that we are all one and the same. Our experiences are different, are perceptions shaped differently, out personalities diverse. But at the essential core all humans have the same basic need to be loved, feel accepted, security, and a safe space to express our true selves without judgment.
2018 I dedicated much energy to learning to catch myself when judgements of others or myself arise. It is easy to be influenced by the people with whom we take community, with colleagues, friends, and family. As a recovering people pleaser I find it necessary to question every thought in my head, every word spoken, and every emotion felt not to analyze it but simple to observe. To be mindful and decern if it is my truth or if I am giving my power away so that someone else can be responsible. This has led to much push back from long standing relationships, as well as faulty new ones. As humans we do not tend to like change in ourselves or others. Change means facing the unknown which is exciting and frightening. When we change ourselves, we change how we let others treat us, instead of perhap being a pushover we create boundaries and those who are used to getting what they want feel insulted. It is our job to hold these uncomfortable positions, and if the person truly loves us they will adapt to the change of character and if not then it is them who needs to uplevel.
Upleveling: a term for solidifying transformation by expanding ourselves fully and moving into our innate magnestism. Upleveling means detaching from past patterning, saying goodbye to destructive yet comfortable behaviors of the past and finding new partners, friends and community that inspire and challenge us to grow even more. Tim Ferris has often been quoted saying that if you are the smartest person in the room, then you are in the wrong room. It’s like the movies where the high school football player is the big hot shot in the school, everyone desires the clothes he has, the girlfriend the attention. But for the next 10 years he rides on this pride, he sticks around people that make him feel larger then life only to find that at his reunion, the loners and nerds have surpassed hin in success because they have put themselves in a constant environment of learning and evolution.
Seeing sameness: The sameness is what brings compassion. Both for others and for ourselves. In psychology there is something called mirror neurons, and this is something that the monkey mind developed. We mimic each other’s behaviors starting in childhood and throughout life. The aspects of others we cannot stand are often a reflection of our own denied aspects of self. Also when we find ourselves jealous, comparing to others, or inspired it is because we see a reflection of our higher potential a piece of ourselves that we have not yet owned. When we hear light and shadow good and bad are often intertwined but this is an unhealthy conditioning because both exist within us, they are neutral until we give them meaning. The shadow is our greatest teacher, it is what we must learn in this life and integrate in a healthy manner. When we try to deny or hide from the shadow it grows and consumes us, coming out it unconscious destructive behaviors or thought patterns.
Finding your footing, get grounded and then expand.