Cycles and Retrospective Intelligence
Exactly three years ago I stood on top of twin volcanoes watching the sun rise in one direction, and an eruption of lava in the other. The strength and awe I felt from the witnessing and awe of nature rippled inside me a sense of power. A week prior I had hosted my first international retreat with one of my best friends. It was a week of Elemental Embodiment as we sat in fire ceremony with a Mayan elder, kayaked across the pristine lake Atitlan, visited permaculture farms, and learned natural dyeing of textile with plants grown and harvested by the cycle of the moon.
In that moment I felt magnetic, so happy to have succeeded in a vision of bringing people on an adventure that would shift their life through travel, and earth based connection. This moment on top of the Volcano, little did I know however, would bring a shake up to my life I had never predicted.
Upon descent from the two day trek we were informed by our hiking guide that the country of Guatemala had shut down. A case of Corona beers greeted us at the tour headquarters ironically mocking the virus by the same name that had sparked the president's decision to close borders. Airports, non-essential businesses, and public transportation. Curfews were put in place, lockdowns on the weekends, and the greater the spread of the virus- the greater the restrictions in place.
What a paradox to feel the wondrous expansion and direction I believed my life to be going, with the uncertainty, and destruction of dreams I had envisioned were just beginning to launch. The pandemic affected us all in a myriad of ways. Relationships, jobs, security, family, spirituality, home environment, social justice, economics, travel, and health were all put through a test of integrity. I had wished that I could have said my experience was graceful, but in honesty I faced more blockages, insecurities, doubts and fears that I never even realized lived within me. After years of thinking I was reclaiming my sovereignty and freedom, I felt more alone, afraid, cautious, and depressed. My nervous system was never calm enough to sit still and listen, survival overroad intuition in many moments. My health diminished, my finances crashed, no home, nor career in which I could truly find comfort.
The Volcano was all too perfect in its symbolism- absolute destruction had to occur, ashes needed to lay fallow, in order to see what resilient seeds of life remained to be birthed in their own timing.
My reality was being ruptured at every level- emotional, energetic, physical and spiritual. My skin broke out in a kind of acne/rash I had never experienced before. My mental health, and sense of direction took a nosedive. My self esteem bottomed out as private clients canceled all future projects. Everything I thought I believed in seemed an illusion or fantasy. And through this long death I tried to hold onto something, to anything, but fully was in a state of survival.
The only things that truly brought me a sense of peace were my connection to nature through plants and animals, my relationships with my family, and friends, and Astrology.
Even when everything seemed to be falling apart I could look at my astrology chart and say, “Everything is right on time, I can weather this storm”.
When I stood on top of that volcano- little did I know until months later reflecting on my chart- that the planet Uranus- the bringer of disruption, sudden changes, revolution, and liberation was transiting over my natal sun - the core essence of who we are, in the sign of Taurus- fixed earth, stability, foundation, fertility, and physicality, in my sixth house of work, health, and what we need everyday to maintain vitality. This transit set off a cascade of astrological activations that touched on very personal parts within my chart. Pluto, Saturn and Jupiter converging with my moon. Neptune riding on the back of my natal Mars. A Saturn returns to my natal Aquarian placement, and nodal eclipses to my ascendent. I don’t know why or how- but hearing, studying and seeing these transits in my chart allowed me to trust the process even when it felt like it would never end. It was a guiding framework for what I needed to release, what I needed to call in and even how to nourish my body.
Over the years I’ve been embarrassed to come out as an Astrologer- for fear that people would judge me or even look down at me for being “stupid”, “superstitious” and dare I say “insane”. I felt a part of me needing to validate how I came to certain intuitions/decisions, pardoning my life to try and appease others. I questioned whether or not Astrology was actually a helpful tool for people, or a “waste” of time. But I couldn't shut it off. When people spoke I saw it in symbols and resonances of elements, modes, and archetypal geometry. I could look at a chart or an individual and sense what herbs, foods, or practices could help to balance their constitution.
Our culture worships knowledge more than it honors wisdom though. It abides by facts and rules, over lived experience and visceral understanding. The past three years this way of being has begun to show its flaws, as facts that were taken as universal truth are beginning to atrophy. Our mechanisms of control over and domination are atrophying under the pressure of perfection, and the paradox that nature will always find a way to evolve, and grow.
I am able to look in retrospect and see the growth that has happened within me, a more solid base, a greater understanding of who I BE rather than who I am. Identity is always fluid, and we get to choose to lean into our edges rather than the discomfort of the illusion of certainty.
And so on the approximate third year anniversary of Uranus's transit to the Earth sign of Taurus- what has been set free within you? What senses of security either real or perceived have ruptured or underwent a restructuring? How has your relationship to the Earth, your body, and nature begun to unfold? What is something you were able to let go of (a relationship, a judgment, a job) that has actually given you more freedom? What shame cycles were you able to release?
Remember that this is all a process- Every month the energetics of seasons change that are mapped with the zodiacal sign. We are in the final days of Pisces- a beautiful space to let go of facts and feel into the big picture. A time to contemplate the nature of reality and how diverse it is defined from person to person. Its a time to be compassionate with ourselves and others and allow ourselves to love life for the sake of being alive. Finding beauty in the twisted realities of this strange and unusual realm. As the water settle, as we soften, the waters will begin to evaporate as the spark of Aries season brings new light into our lives.
Aries is the cardinal fire, the match that shifts us into a time of new beginnings. After the inward time of winter we are eager to leap out into the world with new found enthusiasm. Of course some of us may feel the stagnancy of the winter months still lingering in our systems which is why we have herbal remedies, nutritious foods, and movement practices that can help to liberate this energy. What's been birthed in me is an eagerness to share how we can use astrology as a powerful framework to understand our unique constitution, and how it shifts during the seasons of the year. The goal is that you’ll learn to understand how your body flows, how it interacts with your environment and how efficiently it is able to assimilate and digest the information that comes through food, water and herbs you eat.
The internet is full of diets, protocols, and doctors that are eager to prescribe you a strict list of rules and protocols to follow. Keto, paleo, vegan, carnivore etc. And they almost all have a missing piece to the puzzle. They lack an energetic understanding of both the individual, the environment, and the state of “dis-ease” the person may be experiencing. Our allopathic systems, even those that are “natural”, tend to strip the human and the plants into constituent parts, fracturing the intelligence of the whole. When we take concentrated curcuma for inflammation there's a possibility that we are creating more disruption than good. This is because one person's medicine is another person's poison. Some people run hot, and dry, while others never seem to be able to have warmth in their hands even in the height of the summer heat. This is where systems such as Astrology, Ayurveda and TCM act as a holistic wellness care. They see each body as interconnected, each with a unique expression, and specialized care. Wellness in these systems becomes less of a commodity because when you empower people to understand their body, needs, and path to homeostasis, there’s little profit to be made.
So why is this important to the story of witnessing a volcano three years ago erupt- foreshadowing my health crisis? Because each of us has a uranian moment in this life where everything seems to be bottoming out. Transits that present challenges as well as opportunity for realignment. As this world continues to be shaken, learning the language of astrological energetics can help navigate challenge, joy, and wellness. My goal as a practitioner is to guide people in learning the framework of Astrology, and how it manifests in their lives. Through this understanding we remember our wholeness- and as we reclaim this we create a ripple effect of global healing within humans, economics, ecology, and beyond.
